Elevator Pitch No. 2

Hey guys so here is my second attempt at my elevator pitch!
(so sorry guys for the dark-ish lighting but it was the only place in my room where I could put the camera on the table and stand away from it without holding it haha I tried adding a filter on YouTube to make it look less dark so hopefully it works!)

So I decided to edit my concept slightly because at first I mad the concept of a dog cafe to be an alternative place to study and alleviate stress with dogs, but some students mentioned how studying may not be a selling point because it could be more distracting to play with dogs while studying. So I focused more on helping students find a place to unwind and alleviate some stress from their hectic days; that was the msot helpful commentary I got from my first pitch.  Also some of the feedback on my first elevator pitch, the students mentioned how they loved the concept because they are not allowed to have them in their apartments or dorms in Gainesville and have had to leave their pets behind or are not able to adopt, so I wanted to incorporate that into my pitch as well because I never even thought of that!  Lastly, I wanted to start off with a statistic about stressed college students because it makes it more important and serious; it is also good to mentally visualize data for impact.  Some of the feedback from the previous one was also just possible health and liability concerns about the business, which I thought was beneficial but not really to mention it in my new pitch. If I were to get positive response from an investor on my pitch, then I would go more into detail about all the logistics.  I think I felt more motivated with this pitch than the first one because I was able to get some useful feedback from my classmates, so it motivated me to put more effort into the wording and delivery of my second pitch. Hopefully you guys like it! :)